Author: mistressjonoor

Hi, I'm Joanna, and boy do I have some exciting stories to share with you! But first, let me introduce myself. I'm a naughty kitty from the Antipodes who writes thrilling epic fantasy erotica with romance, laughs, and a whole lotta heat! Just to make things interesting, I like some of my boys to be girls, some of my girls to be boys, and all of my characters to be LGBTQ-friendly. Gender-bending and genre-blending are my jam! If you enjoy fast-paced, funny, wildly-imaginative stories, I guarantee you'll find something to love in my wonderfully wicked World of Khymeera ;-) When I'm not penning racy fantasy tales, I'm also an illustrator, cartoonist, and explorer of exotic and interesting things.

The Lady in Red is LIVE!

I’m delighted to announce the next heart-stopping episode of my paranormal romance/action-adventure/comedy epic Dying to Get Laid! is now available on Amazon and KindleUnlimited – and even better, The Lady in Red is only 99¢!

So buckle up and hold on to your ectoplasm cannons, and get ready for a wild ride across the Empyrean Realms, as Kayden hunts down his ex-girlfriends in the afterlife and tries to figure out who killed Death . . . before the Angelic authorities catch up with him and banish him to Hell forever!

Hurry folks, and get it while it’s hot 🙂

Let this kitty whip your book into shape!

One of the things I love most is discovering an exciting, well-written story on Amazon. It’s an amazing platform for self-published authors, and the way it has allowed unknown writers with talent to reach new audiences has been a game changer for the publishing industry.

But sadly, many aspiring authors’ beautiful words are let down by poor editing and formatting for Kindle. You know what I mean? Sometimes I find something that looks interesting, but honestly, I’ll pass on buying it because the preview is chock full of spelling mistakes or poor punctuation. I know if I’m distracted by those things in the first few minutes, they will drive me crazy over an hour or two!

FACT: Professional-looking books sell more than amateurish titles!

So what can an aspiring author do to boost their sales and improve their credibility? Why, hire an editor, of course! And if they’re smart, one with years of proofreading experience and a passion for helping other writers; one who has learned the ins and outs of publishing on Amazon by doing it successfully herself, with multiple titles; and one who loves polishing lackluster stories until the diamond inside shines bright.

In short, ME.

That’s why I’m now pleased to offer my editorial services through Fiverr, so I can share my knowledge and experience, and ensure your next title hits the market looking the best it can. My rates are reasonable, my turnaround is quick, and if you hire Joanna Noor to copyedit your book, you can believe it will look every bit as good as one of her titles.

To check out my services go HERE and see what I can do for you today!

Are you Dying to Get Laid?

Fans of Mason Richter’s paranormal/sci-fi/supernatural adventure/romance story Dying to Get Laid! are in for a treat, as the next thrilling installment in the Death Harem Chronicles will debut next week!

Unfortunately I had to put this series on the back burner while I finished Sukkubus of Khymeera, but I already have Kayden Karson’s story mapped out, and I can’t wait to resume it. As I publish other tales in other genres, you can expect a new Death Harem story every month, concluding with Episode 13 in about a year. After that, I’ll collect them into a 130,000 word anthology, and that will mark the end of that particular series.

So buckle up and hold on to your ectoplasm cannons, and get ready for a wild ride across the Empyrean Realms, as Kayden hunts down his ex-girlfriends in the afterlife and tries to figure out who killed Death . . . before the Angelic authorities catch up with him and banish him to Hell forever!

Exciting news, Khymeera audiobooks are on the way!

I’ve been holding off on writing about this until the books were in production. But now the first Saga of Karli Talbo novel is halfway finished, I can safely reveal . . .

Kock Rider of Khymeera and Sukkubus of Khymeera ARE GOING TO BE AUDIOBOOKS!!!

That’s right, if you’ve been hanging out to hear what my kinky stories sound like when they’re narrated by a professional voice actor, then you won’t have to wait much longer. As I mentioned, Kock Rider is halfway finished and Sukkubus of Khymeera is being lined up for production as I type.

I’m so thrilled for this to happen, because it means I’ll be able to reach more readers than ever, across multiple platforms and media. When I launched the Karli Talbo series last year, I hoped – but didn’t really anticipate – it would be so well received, or that it would resonate with so many people. It is fantasy erotica, after all, and that’s a specialist niche. But I try to bring my characters to life with real emotions, real problems, and real situations in a richly imagined universe. And most of all, I try to relate an exciting tale.

So thank you to everyone who has joined me on this exciting journey! The third novel in the series – Pu’ussy Lord of Khymeera – is well underway, and should be finished in a couple of months. I’ll post links when the first two audiobooks are published, and more information about the wonderfully wicked world of Khymeera as I progress.

Until then, here are links to books one and two, as well as my first world of Khymeera short story anthology, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.

Stay naughty! xoxo Jo

Clocksucker!

Hello world, meet Petra Harkness!

As I mentioned, I’m dabbling in other genres while I finish the next Khymeera novel, so Petra Harkness is my “collaborator” wink wink 😉 on all things steampunk and Victorian inspired. She’s my fourth and final pen name for the time being.

Unsurprisingly, Petra shares a lot of my same interests–including the occult, spooky stories, an abiding interest in English history, romantic art and poetry, and a fascination with Promethean subtexts. I admire characters who challenge the gods to champion causes dear to their hearts, and that is a central theme in a lot of my stories.

Pity my protagonists then, if you know what typically happens to people who challenge the gods!

So here is Clocksucker, my latest naughty fantasy tale, available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited . . .

A naughty Victorian scientist tries to create a supernatural love slave and gets more than he bargained for, when magic and machines are mixed!

Inspired by stories of Frankenstein’s monster, arrogant, womanizing London inventor Wallace Thorndon sets out to create the perfect girlfriend—a clockwork maiden to slavishly satisfy all his erotic desires. Soon he has fashioned Celeste, a beautiful mechanical girl that is lifelike in almost every way.

Except she has no soul. And no passion.

Frustrated, he turns to the famed medium Madame Chaurade, who agrees to help him capture a slutty female spirit from the aether and install it within his nubile robotic creation.

But the mischievous clairvoyant has other plans for Mr. Thorndon, and the ghost they harness isn’t the docile, submissive wench she first appears to be. All too soon, Wallace realizes he has met his sexual match in Celeste, and the clockwork lady can give as good as she gets . . .

“eXXXtension” is here!

In space, everyone can hear you cream!

While I work on the third novel in my Saga of Karli Talbo series (Pu’ussy Lord of Khymeera), I’m writing various stories in different genres to mix things up and keep my writing life interesting. I’m something of an omnivore with my own tastes – I enjoy pretty much anything as long as it’s well written, has good character development, and tells a quirky tale. So with that in mind, I wanted to try something new.

Just as Dane Colby is my Cowboy/Western genre pen name (with the Gutter Gulch series), so Zeta Kirk is the nom de guerre I’m using for Science Fiction, and eXXXtension is her first story. The series name is Future Shock and wherever that appears, those stories will all share the same universe, with many of the same characters, and the historical events that shaped them. Kind of like the interconnected Marvel universe.

So here it is, some kinky dark-fantasy sci-fi from the new Ursula Le Guin of erotica . . .

When seasoned asteroid miner and hunky ladies man Jaxon Colley loses his tackle in a workplace accident, he’s convinced his life is over—that women will find him worthless and he will never love again.

Deeply traumatized and depressed, he is sent to the hospital moon of Priapus-6 to recover and find hope. There he is selected to participate in an experimental program that fits amputees with A.I. enhanced prostheses.

Soon Jaxon is treated by the kind and beautiful Dr. Emily Lo-Hung, and fitted with prototype cyborg genitals. The operation goes smoothly and Jaxon wakes to find his manhood restored . . .

But not the way he imagined. As it turns out, Dr. Lo-Hung is a surgeon with a secret, and the penis she attached to Jaxon has a mind of its own—as well as functions he can’t fathom. All too late, Jaxon realizes he is a guinea pig for the mysterious doctor, and her altruism is motivated by strange, otherwordly desires . . .

You can buy it at Amazon or read on Kindle Unlimited here.

Down and dirty fun in the old Wild West!

Happy New Year friends!

Although I’ve been quiet for a little while, I’ve still been busy. And while I work on the next thrilling Khymeera novel (Pu’ussy Lord of Khymeera) I’m also launching three new erotica series based on Western, Smutpunk, and Sci-fi themes.

So here it is, the first story in my good friend Dane Colby’s (wink, wink) Gutter Gulch series, HAMMERED BY THE BLACKSMITH. You can order it on Amazon at this link.

And here’s a brief description:

Saddle up and hold on to your hats—it’s time for some wild fun in the old wild west!

When shy, bookish schoolteacher Jacob Riley’s wagon breaks down en route to a new job out west, he and his pretty young fiancée Bonnie are stranded in the dusty, rough-and-tumble mining town of Gutter Gulch, where they hope to find help. If Jacob doesn’t get to Salt Springs quickly, his position will be gone and the happy future they planned in California will vanish like a mirage.

Soon they find themselves in the steamy workshop of hunky, sweaty blacksmith Beauden Blackhart, where they learn their wagon repairs will cost more than a country teacher earns in a year. They telegraph Bonnie’s father to send money, but when the mail coach is delayed by bandits, they have no choice except to throw themselves upon the mercy of the blacksmith.

But, like all things, mercy has a price in the wild American west. And it appears Beauden Blackhart’s favored payment is a night with the virginal Bonnie . . . along with her groom-to-be.With so much at stake for Jacob and Bonnie, one thing is for certain: desperate times call for desperate measures, and sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Enjoy! And as always, stay naughty . . .

XOXO Jo